96 Comments
User's avatar
Sondra Primeaux's avatar

I'm going to see Madonna tonight. I got some last minute tickets from a friend who couldn't use them. I'm a child of MTV so I couldn't resist. I've seen her once but it was 1987 (lol, I'm old). Yesterday the venue posted on social that she'll start when she starts (so way past my bedtime) and has requested the air conditioner be turned off. Couldn't resist commenting that I found this hilarious as her entire female fanbase is in menopause but okay, the queen has spoken. Here for the ride, but I'll probably need a pre-nap. Islands named after saints never disappoint. Xo.

Expand full comment
Laura McKowen's avatar

Everything about this is great. Report back!

Expand full comment
Robin Beers's avatar

I LOVED Madonna's Celebration tour and I do remember being REALLY hot...now I know why. I was somewhat prepared for a Vegas-like review but found the vibe to be really right for this moment - both darker and lighter than I expected, if that makes sense.

Expand full comment
Sondra Primeaux's avatar

Oh, I like that critique! Blazing hot but many good messages, so true. And the theatrics, backup dancers, costumes, oh my!

Expand full comment
Laura McKowen's avatar

But WHY with the air conditioning?! I would die. I hate being hot.

Expand full comment
Molly Gorney's avatar

Sondra! I listened to you and Tammi Salas long ago when I first got sober. Now in TLC and actually live in Austin and I LOVE that you are on here (I am not on Instagram or FB). Your voice helped me many a days in early recovery so thank you!

Expand full comment
Sondra Primeaux's avatar

Hi! You're in Austin! Let me know if you ever want to meet for coffee. So glad you said hi! Xo

Expand full comment
Laura McKowen's avatar

This needs to happen!

Expand full comment
Molly Gorney's avatar

Yes yes I would love that Sondra! I am in West Austin but I would drive wherever! Can I send you my cell privately some way on here?! I don’t know how Substack works 😂

Expand full comment
Jean MacDonald's avatar

I re-read Oliver Burkeman’s Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management For Mortals. It had a profound effect on me the first time I read it, and sparked a clearing of a few things that were taking up my time without moving me forward toward the life I want. It’s not really a time management book. It’s more like “You might have 4,000 weeks total on this earth: are you sure you want to spend these weeks doing THAT?” Lately, I’ve been letting myself to commit to new things, but I have to be careful. (St. John is amazing. I was only there once, long ago, but I’ll never forget the beautiful water and foliage.)

Expand full comment
Laura McKowen's avatar

I’ve heard about his book and I think listened to an interview with Sam Harris. Framing time like that freaks me out. :) It is really gorgeous there.

Expand full comment
Karina  Lodge's avatar

I’m reading that too. It’s so much more than a time management book. It’s a must read

Expand full comment
Marcella Allison's avatar

I loved this book and I've re-read it several times. I find something new in it each time. It's the perfect "anti-time management" books and makes you ponder the things that really matter.

Expand full comment
Jean MacDonald's avatar

Yes! It helped me wean off of the productivity gurus and their systems. I decided to create my own, and the first step was "you don't need to get all of this finished to say you're done."

Expand full comment
Molly Gorney's avatar

I too love Oliver Burkemans book!!! I read it awhile back and found it very helpful and really good with shifting my mindset on productivity 🤍

Expand full comment
Jean MacDonald's avatar

I really needed that mindset. I was constantly beating myself up over not "getting things done." 😏

Expand full comment
Kristi Tanner's avatar

This sounds like a great book! Just ordered!

Expand full comment
Jean MacDonald's avatar

I resisted it for a while, because it sounded like more of the same productivity propaganda that I finally escaped from, but it's really a beautiful gentle book. I've also taken a couple webinars as well, and he just seems like a nice person.

Expand full comment
Kristi Tanner's avatar

I’m excited to read it!! Thank you!

Expand full comment
Laura McKowen's avatar

Ok I’m getting it too after all this :)

Expand full comment
MC Diederich's avatar

Just home from treating myself to traveling around Scotland for two weeks. Listened to a Scottish narrated sapphic adventure love story along the way.

Saw breathtaking landscapes and architecture. Learned magical stories, folklore and history from amazing tour guides with beautiful accents.

My takeaway: Adults rarely have the face to face opportunity to listen to others tell them stories. I want more of this.

Saving my pennies for the privilege of letting others plan and carry me on a vacation where I was fully relaxed was worth everything.

The feeling of a seeing relics and art and old things, that aren’t being torn down but honored, gets in and stays in your soul.

The chocolates and pastries and desserts in the UK are sublime.

Scotland is magical for all of this and more. Letting myself be guided and cared after like this I felt like a child again, just there to discover and enjoy.

Transition home was rough. Glad to be back in Substack land. Good to see you Laura. I’m contemplating journaling again ✨❤️

Expand full comment
Laura McKowen's avatar

Ahhhh, how awesome. Scotland speaks to me.

Expand full comment
MC Diederich's avatar

My feet were ready to be home, my heart was not.

Expand full comment
The Mess + The Magic's avatar

Whoa--this feels serendipitous, as I was immersed in all things Scotland last week while my youngest son prepared an extensive family heritage presentation on our ancestry. (Hearing his little 8-year-old voice explain "Constitutional Monarchy" was ridiculously cute.) I've always felt proud of my strong Scottish roots, so it was a week of deep diving into our lineage, listening to bagpipes, and reveling in all the glorious history and scenery. And yes--the most charming accents in the world, in my humble opinion. :) He now has a shirt with our clan's tartan plaid and sleeps with a stuffed highland cow, thanks to my folks who ended up getting involved and learning a boatload themselves. The whole thing felt connective and powerful. I've traveled to Scotland twice-- but in my 20s, which was a lifetime ago. I associated Scotland so much with drink back then, which totally misses the magic you speak of... the relics and art and folklore. It's interesting that today, I often hike solo in the woods to Celtic music. (Toward the end of my hike, to be clear, when I'm less rage-y and more in sync with my softer side.) It's not uncommon for an image of a purple thistle to come to mind during meditations. I've long held a dream of solo travel to Scotland. Writing and horse riding and breathing in the magic. They also offer Outlander tours--which I will shamelessly say I've looked into a few times. I came thiiiiis close to gluing a James + Claire Fraser photo on my son's posterboard, but we ran out of room. (And in hindsight, it was a bit sultry for a 2nd grade classroom. haha.) I love this comment you made: "Adults rarely have the face to face opportunity to listen to others tell them stories. I want more of this."  YES. Same. Last week, I also took my sons to stay overnight on the historical USS Hornet aircraft carrier, and I found myself hanging back in every room, longing to hear more personal stories from each of the docents. I was beyond riveted and emotionally stirred. Wishing I had a clone to enable me to write their stories so deserving of being told (a la Laura Hillenbrand and Louis Zamperini in "Unbroken.") Two days later at the library, I did end up finding and renting a DVD on the Nisei (second generation Japanese Americans who fought during WWII), as I was moved to tears hearing firsthand accounts of what it was like for Japanese American families in internment camps here in the Bay Area during WWII. I've always loved people's stories. They move me and change me. I am a woman in recovery, and I will say one of the greatest gifts of sobriety is that it has removed this veil between me and the magic. Drinking kept out so much of the good stuff, too. Things get in now. Deep in the soul.

Expand full comment
MC Diederich's avatar

Beautiful! I love this so much.

Expand full comment
Jean MacDonald's avatar

Scotland is number one on my travel list. My grandmother was born there, but I've never been.

Expand full comment
MC Diederich's avatar

I hope you go. I enjoyed every minute❤️

Expand full comment
Jean MacDonald's avatar

Do you recommend Spring? I feel myself dithering about when to go, which could be an excuse to make an actual plan!

Expand full comment
Christine's avatar

I've been twice. Once in July and once in September. Froze in July and rained every day. beautiful in September but one never knows! Its always unpredictable

Expand full comment
Vanessa's avatar

Summer, it can be very misty, wet in the spring.

Expand full comment
Catherine Glaser's avatar

Thank you for checking in - reading Anne Lamont’s “Somehow: Thoughts on Love” - she makes me think and laugh, just as your books have. I’m newish here and at TLC - 2 weeks of meetings - it’s an amazing community, thank you.

Expand full comment
Laura McKowen's avatar

Welcome, welcome. I haven’t grabbed her new one yet but she’s always grand. Hopefully I’ll see you in my Tuesday 8 am meeting!

Expand full comment
Molly Gorney's avatar

Welcome to TLC Catherine!!! Its a lovely place with lots of spaces to make connections and find support. I will look for you in meetings to say "hello!"

Expand full comment
Meri's avatar

I will definitely check out Thoughts on Love

Expand full comment
Vanessa's avatar

Just reading Anne Lamott, “ Almost everything”…. Laugh out loud and I want to read over and over again… so inspiring

Expand full comment
Greg Ritchey's avatar

I did the same thing with What My Bones Know, it was such an impactful book for me. Right now, I’m reading The Heaven and Earth Grocery Store and The Origins of You. Both are so good! I’ve really found the exercises in The Origins of You to be helpful.

I joined TLC a month ago based on your response to my Ask Me Anything comment and it has already had such a big impact on my life. Thank you!

Expand full comment
Laura McKowen's avatar

Greg!! I’m so glad to hear this.

Expand full comment
Allison Deraney's avatar

Greg - I’m also reading the Origins of You and I’m blown away by how much it’s moving things for me.

Expand full comment
Greg Ritchey's avatar

Same for me, Allison! She was on Elise Loehnen’s Pulling the Thread podcast a couple weeks ago and it was a great interview.

Expand full comment
Allison Deraney's avatar

Yes! That episode is what pulled me towards picking up the book.

Expand full comment
Molly Gorney's avatar

Greg! I loved What My Bones Know. I feel like it spoke to my soul. So glad you are loving TLC! It’s the best!! Curious- what enneagram number are you? (I promise this has a point!)

Expand full comment
Greg Ritchey's avatar

Thanks, Molly! I’m a type 3… and I can’t wait to see where this is going 😄

Expand full comment
Greg Ritchey's avatar

Aww! 🥰 yes, I think what I connected with so much was her external success and feeling internally like she was a complete mess. It’s the story of my life and I think it drives a lot of my 3-ness.

Expand full comment
Molly Gorney's avatar

Oh I love 3s!! I am married to one 🥰 I just see how much you enjoyed the Stephanie Foo book and I am a enneagram 4 and it seems like all of the 4s in my life have been drawn to that book. But I love that you loved it as a 3- so much!

Expand full comment
Molly Gorney's avatar

Love this check in! And thanks for the recs. We are watching the fifth season of "Fargo" which is great (my first time watching any of them but each season is independent of the other) and I am also watching "Palm Royale" when I fold laundry and need a brain break because I love Kristin Wiig and it is DELIGHTFUL. I am reading "Burn Book" by Kara Swisher which is really great - I listen off and on to her podcast "Pivot" and I just really love and admire her so this is fascinating. It's part memoir, part account of her life as a journalist in Silicon Valley chronicling the lives of the arrogant, yet brilliant, humans who have become household names.

Expand full comment
Laura McKowen's avatar

I’m watching Palm Royale right now based on this rec and it feels like exactly the right mood. I loveeee Kristin Wigg.

Expand full comment
Jean MacDonald's avatar

A friend recently told me to watch Palm Royale. It sounds like just the show I need right now.

Expand full comment
Molly Gorney's avatar

Kristin Wiig is "chefs kiss" good, Allison Janney is always amazing and it has Carol Burnett and Ricky Martin. Just watch out - you may walk around the house talking like "Maxine Dellacorte"! Its very fun and like candy for my brain.

Expand full comment
Meri's avatar

There is sooo much change afoot. Me and so many of my friends, colleagues, etc. are in transition. I’m an astrology geek so I know there is a lot going on there. It feels exciting, daunting, hopeful, sad all at once.

Expand full comment
Laura McKowen's avatar

I keep hearing about the astrology angle and I’m like, COME ON PLANETS PLSSSS 🫠🫠🫠🫠

Expand full comment
Kristi Tanner's avatar

Agree!

Expand full comment
Brent Selders's avatar

How funny. I have randomly been dipping back into some AA practices, as well. There were a couple meetings on a recent vacation (that was otherwise surrounded by booze).

Expand full comment
Laura McKowen's avatar

I’m so glad I have it as a foundation and know how to draw from it.

Expand full comment
Brent Selders's avatar

Amen

Expand full comment
Molly Gorney's avatar

I am convinced those 12 steps were divinely inspired! Yes, humans mess them up all kinds of ways like we do all good things but in their essence they are so good. And I go back to them often in many areas of my life. I am grateful to have had the opportunity to walk through them with a person who honored my path and wasn't in any way dogmatic.

Expand full comment
Jennifer G's avatar

I’m re-reading The Four Agreements, as my emotional sobriety has been a bit shakier than usual hahahaha. So glad you are here and sharing your journey with us, for sharing the good and bad 🩵

Expand full comment
Janet Payton's avatar

I saw Third Eye Blind at a DRY casino over the weekend, and it was awesome. It was so refreshing to see live music and not have booze be a focus. I stopped drinking a few years ago, and I don’t mind being around alcohol, but I realized how great it was not to have it in my face and smell it everywhere while I’m trying to enjoy a performance. Also, Ripley on Netflix is brilliant. Very different from the Matt Damon Ripley film, and absolutely riveting even though I already knew what was going to happen. Andrew Scott is amazing, and the whole series is visually stunning.

Expand full comment
Laura McKowen's avatar

Noted on Ripley!

Expand full comment
Robin Beers's avatar

Love all the recommendations in these comments! Just returned from a week in France which was so lovely. Filled up with the French Alps, Picasso, Spring in Paris.

Reading The Right Kind of White by Garrett Bucks, another substacker. It’s a memoir about white liberalism and how to put beliefs into action for stronger, richer communities.

Expand full comment
Molly Gorney's avatar

The Right Kind of White - I am going to check this out. Thank you for the rec!

Expand full comment
Christine's avatar

I'm ensconced on the couch watching the masters. One of my very favourite weekends of the year.

Expand full comment
Laura McKowen's avatar

Ensconced is such a great word.

Expand full comment
Susanne D’Arcy's avatar

I’m currently listening to Push off from here on Audible.. and it’s making me feel so grateful and relieved ..it’s wasn’t just me!

I’m learning so much and am only just starting Chapter 3!

I’m about to start watching Ripley on Netflix as highly recommended by friends.

Also reading None of this is true by Lisa Jewell for light bedtime reading…

Expand full comment
Laura McKowen's avatar

❤️❤️❤️

Expand full comment
Anne Reuss's avatar

Hey hey! ☕️ ☕️ I'm doing a lot of behind the scenes stuff for work so I've been really diving into fun, whimsical tv shows and books! I just read The Mostly True Story of Tanner & Louise about dropout and older woman on the run. It was a charmer. I'm looking at the Wishing game next.....At night, I'm watching 'Not Dead Yet' on Hulu where the writer is talking to dead people (and of course there's a lesson in each one). So heart warming and funny at the same time. NOICE push ups this morning, BTW. xoxo

Expand full comment
Laura McKowen's avatar

Hi hi hi! Ok these are all great suggestions. And thanks; I will never not think of you when doing them 🤪

Expand full comment
Beth's avatar

The thing that strikes me is that when you travel, you are transported into a new world and a new reality, which is magical...and coming home thrusts you back into the grief you may have left behind momentarily. Personally I am traveling tomorrow to Philadelphia, a city where I’ve never been, and I welcome the magic during these tumultuous times. ❤️

Expand full comment