Forgiving yourself (Part 2)
It feels radical because it is. Plus, an excerpt from my new book.
Hello! This is the second of a two-parter on forgiveness. If you missed Part 1, you can read it here.
A couple of important updates:
When I moved my website to a new platform last fall, I decided to republish only a couple dozen of the 100+ essays I’d published there between 2013 - 2019. Most are about addiction, sobriety, and the dumpster fire of my love life. Over the few months, I plan to republish the other ones here on Love Story—some with new content, some not. Some of these will be free (like Part 1 of the forgiveness series published earlier this week); some will be for paid subscribers only (like today’s).
The reason I put some of my newsletters behind a paywall is three-fold:
Because labor! I put a lot of time and energy into these—research, writing, editing, interviewing, etc.—and plan to put even more going forward as I focus more on writing.
Because I want a space where I can be more candid and casual—like sharing about the books I read and don’t like—that isn’t public to everyone.
Because in the next two months, I’ll be sharing copyrighted material from my forthcoming book, Push Off from Here, and insider writing and publishing goss (see below). It’ll be a book launch team of sorts for POFH but also an insider space for these topics.
(That said, if you cannot afford a paid subscription right now but really want one, just hit reply, and I will grant you access.)
Second, did you hear?! WELL LET ME TELL YOU AGAIN. I have a book coming out in less than two months. Push Off from Here: 9 Essential Truths to Get You Through Sobriety and Everything Else drops on Tuesday, March 7th. It’s my second book and is a modern exploration of addiction that offers nine foundational building blocks every person at any stage of sobriety, or life challenge, can use.
Anne Lamott said, “I wish I had it when I first got sober, but I’m glad I have it now.” Still fainting over that one.
Starting with today’s newsletter and leading up to publication, paid subscribers will get to see excerpts of my forthcoming book and get behind-the-scenes stuff about writing the book, recording the audiobook, designing the cover, launch events and book tour dates, the publishing process, and more.
In addition, paid subscribers get the full archive of all my essays, access to the subscriber-only chat I started this week, and the ability to ask me questions directly, to be answered column-style in future newsletters.
Next week, I’ll be sharing the backstory behind Push Off from Here—what it’s about, how it came to be—and the story of how I got my agent, plus tips on how to find one.
Okay! Let’s get to it. Forgiveness, part 2.
The below excerpt appears in Chapter 8 (You are loved) of Push Off from Here.
Mike1 had been sober for several years when he made a direct amends to his ex-wife, the mother of his two kids. A couple of months later, she invited him to come over for Thanksgiving with their kids and extended family. While she was serving pumpkin soup to everyone, Mike recognized the bowls she was using and said, “Oh, I remember this pottery!”
He noticed her expression shifted a bit as she replied, “Oh . . . yeah.”
“Was there a story there?” he asked.
“Yeah,” she replied, clearly wanting to move on.
“No, tell me!” Come on, I’m trying not to forget the past or shut the door on it,” he said, using the language from AA.
“Okay…you remember when you won that golf tournament that year?”
“Yeah.”
“Remember you were drunk for a week after?”
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