10 years. You sound thoughtful and strong and wise. I need to soak that in. Day 4. I have today. I found some community in my new town. I found a sponsor. I need not only my virtual sober community in TLC. I need physical community. I have today. I can’t do it alone and only I can do it 🫶🫶🫶🫶
Oh yea!!!! Happy 10 years! 9/28 right? It's so huge. And I literally remember hearing you or reading you somewhere when you were 10 months sober so truly WILD to have witnessed this path. And when I read that then I thought I will never be able to be 10 months sober, or even 10 hours sober, and now I am almost 4 years sober. I am grateful to have learned so much from you and watched the incredible human you have and continue to become on your journey. And this story about your dad took my breath away. I am glad he said that to you - I can feel how hard it must have been for him to say it, for you to hear it. And the lingering space of all the stuff in between as his path might be different than yours. I always remember the people who had the courage to say something like that to me on my path, even though they may not remember saying or ever know how much of an impact it had on me, it sliced through me like a knife because I knew my drinking was not okay long before I ever admitted it out loud.
I have a friend like family from childhood who I used to drink with, who drank like me, who when I got sober I thought she should to because if I had a problem then so did she. And I treated her that way even though I didn't ever say it, she could feel it. Then I realized I was doing it and made living amends with it as she still drinks and I can honestly say I don't care or judge her. But it was really hard and now we aren't friends because it has seemed to become to complicated for either of us to deal with in a healthy way. This is what happens when you are in significant relationships with people where you are both drinking heavily sometimes, right? I know you and your dad's story is different than that, apples to oranges, but it still made me think of it and how much alcohol complicates our lives.
Anyway - HAPPY 10 YEARS! Keep going - and I hope I get to tell you happy 20 years someday on whatever platform you are writing on then :)
Happy 10th, Laura. This made me cry and I'm not sure why. I just know it touched my heart because it came so close to the part of me - I realize now - I keep hidden. I read you and feel revealed. It's poignant and raw and wrenching for me, but I know it's what I need. Thank you.
My dad quit drinking about 15 years before I did. We’re so similar, when I found out he was giving it up for good, a tiny, quiet voice in my head said “shit, I’m gonna have to quit drinking someday.” I don’t know what I would’ve done had he started again. It would’ve thrown me for a loop—I know that.
Congrats on 10 years! I remember when you hit 7 years (I was at 2 years at the time) thinking that your milestone seemed lifetimes away for me. I’ll hit 5 years later this month and milestones don’t feel like that anymore.
That was beautiful... what I loved most of all, was at the end -- when you said that you didn't need a lot of validation or celebration. You already know who you are and no longer seek the approval or attention from others -- that resonated with me. I'm learning to keep more to myself these days. Especially the important things. The person who hurt you with that control comment ...ouch. In my experience, "hurting people, hurt people"... In those moments, when those closest have hurt
me, I remember something Brene Brown wrote. "Don't grab hurtful comments and pull them close to you and ruminating on them. Don't play with them by rehearsing your badass comeback. And whatever you do, don't pull hatefulness close to your heart. Let what's unproductive and hurtful drop at the feet of your unarmored self. And no matter how much your self-doubt wants to scoop up the criticism and snuggle with the negativity so it can confirm its worst fears, or how eager the shame gremlins are to use the hurt to fortify your armor, take a deep breath and find the strength to leave what's mean-spirited on the ground. You don't even need to stomp it or kick it away. Cruelty is cheap, easy, and chickenshit. It doesn't deserve your energy or engagement. Just step over the comments and keep daring, always remembering that armor is too heavy a price to pay to engage with cheap-seat feedback.” Keep shining Laura. You have a crowd of us listening and learning from you..... Your future is so bright. Warrior on. XO
Congratulations Laura, 10 years …and what you have done in those past 10 years has not only helped yourself but has been of so much benefit for others. Forever grateful. Looking very Barbara
As always, so real and nuanced and perfectly timed. Congrats, Laura -- thank you for sharing your journey in all of the ways you have! There is a vitality to you in that photo that feels warm and expansive, and I hope your heart is finding new rooms in a fresh season of this year. Big love.
10 years. You sound thoughtful and strong and wise. I need to soak that in. Day 4. I have today. I found some community in my new town. I found a sponsor. I need not only my virtual sober community in TLC. I need physical community. I have today. I can’t do it alone and only I can do it 🫶🫶🫶🫶
Keep going Miranda. ❤️
Oh yea!!!! Happy 10 years! 9/28 right? It's so huge. And I literally remember hearing you or reading you somewhere when you were 10 months sober so truly WILD to have witnessed this path. And when I read that then I thought I will never be able to be 10 months sober, or even 10 hours sober, and now I am almost 4 years sober. I am grateful to have learned so much from you and watched the incredible human you have and continue to become on your journey. And this story about your dad took my breath away. I am glad he said that to you - I can feel how hard it must have been for him to say it, for you to hear it. And the lingering space of all the stuff in between as his path might be different than yours. I always remember the people who had the courage to say something like that to me on my path, even though they may not remember saying or ever know how much of an impact it had on me, it sliced through me like a knife because I knew my drinking was not okay long before I ever admitted it out loud.
I have a friend like family from childhood who I used to drink with, who drank like me, who when I got sober I thought she should to because if I had a problem then so did she. And I treated her that way even though I didn't ever say it, she could feel it. Then I realized I was doing it and made living amends with it as she still drinks and I can honestly say I don't care or judge her. But it was really hard and now we aren't friends because it has seemed to become to complicated for either of us to deal with in a healthy way. This is what happens when you are in significant relationships with people where you are both drinking heavily sometimes, right? I know you and your dad's story is different than that, apples to oranges, but it still made me think of it and how much alcohol complicates our lives.
Anyway - HAPPY 10 YEARS! Keep going - and I hope I get to tell you happy 20 years someday on whatever platform you are writing on then :)
Molly ❤️
Happy 10th, Laura. This made me cry and I'm not sure why. I just know it touched my heart because it came so close to the part of me - I realize now - I keep hidden. I read you and feel revealed. It's poignant and raw and wrenching for me, but I know it's what I need. Thank you.
My dad quit drinking about 15 years before I did. We’re so similar, when I found out he was giving it up for good, a tiny, quiet voice in my head said “shit, I’m gonna have to quit drinking someday.” I don’t know what I would’ve done had he started again. It would’ve thrown me for a loop—I know that.
Congrats on 10 years! I remember when you hit 7 years (I was at 2 years at the time) thinking that your milestone seemed lifetimes away for me. I’ll hit 5 years later this month and milestones don’t feel like that anymore.
Thank you for writing this and all you do!
We’ve both come so far!
That was beautiful... what I loved most of all, was at the end -- when you said that you didn't need a lot of validation or celebration. You already know who you are and no longer seek the approval or attention from others -- that resonated with me. I'm learning to keep more to myself these days. Especially the important things. The person who hurt you with that control comment ...ouch. In my experience, "hurting people, hurt people"... In those moments, when those closest have hurt
me, I remember something Brene Brown wrote. "Don't grab hurtful comments and pull them close to you and ruminating on them. Don't play with them by rehearsing your badass comeback. And whatever you do, don't pull hatefulness close to your heart. Let what's unproductive and hurtful drop at the feet of your unarmored self. And no matter how much your self-doubt wants to scoop up the criticism and snuggle with the negativity so it can confirm its worst fears, or how eager the shame gremlins are to use the hurt to fortify your armor, take a deep breath and find the strength to leave what's mean-spirited on the ground. You don't even need to stomp it or kick it away. Cruelty is cheap, easy, and chickenshit. It doesn't deserve your energy or engagement. Just step over the comments and keep daring, always remembering that armor is too heavy a price to pay to engage with cheap-seat feedback.” Keep shining Laura. You have a crowd of us listening and learning from you..... Your future is so bright. Warrior on. XO
Congratulations Laura, 10 years …and what you have done in those past 10 years has not only helped yourself but has been of so much benefit for others. Forever grateful. Looking very Barbara
LOVE. .. not “ looking very”..😵💫
😆
I was a hungry drinker for so long. And when I peel it back, a lot of that insatiability stems back to my dad, how he drank. How he left.
Ironically, it was his death that ultimately pushed me into sobriety. Something he could never do.
All this to say that this essay really resonates. Thank you.
Congrats on 10 years. 🎉💜
Thanks for showing up to it all, always.
As always, so real and nuanced and perfectly timed. Congrats, Laura -- thank you for sharing your journey in all of the ways you have! There is a vitality to you in that photo that feels warm and expansive, and I hope your heart is finding new rooms in a fresh season of this year. Big love.
Thanks, Katie. It is.
Congratulations on 10 years, Laura. I'm so grateful to have discovered and benefited from your generosity in sharing your experiences. Thank you x
I can’t wait for your book. I always want to read more and more of your life in prose.
Thanks lady. That means a lot!
This is a stunning piece of writing—
Thank you friend 🙏🏼
I celebrated 3 years in Sept 🙂
⭐️⭐️⭐️
Beautiful. Beautiful. Beautiful. You and all of these words. Thank you. x
Kemi ❤️❤️❤️
Such beautiful writing. Helpful to read about your connection to your internal compass.
I love you my sister.
Love you!
Congratulations Laura! 💗💗🦋