The Dig List, November 2023

Top 5 book of the year, Nyad, the best pajamas, hustling and integrity, and how one Substack writer got to 500K subscribers.

Tomorrow, November 16, from 1-2:15 pm ET, I’m hosting a FREE talk titled “The Big 5 Pitfalls to Happiness in Sobriety.” It’s free, but you need to register to get access. A recording will be available after it’s over for all who register. Sign-up.

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Hi! I’m back to my monthly Dig Lists and am ready to make the call for November. The world is rough, so I’m working hard to stay in my heart and pay attention. A good movie or a beautifully written story feels extra special these days.

What’s The Dig List?

Sharing stuff I love is my favorite, so instead of trying to squeeze recommendations into the other newsletters, I started a series called The Dig List. It’s a monthly roundup of things I’m digging: books, podcasts, music, cultural moments, art, products. Nothing I share is sponsored. Read all issues of The Dig List here.

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November 2023 Dig List

‘Bright Young Women’ by Jessica Knoll

Top 5 book of the year, easily. It’s marketed as a thriller, but it’s really not, IMO. The writing is sophisticated yet smooth, the characters and plot are complex, and the story is seriously gripping. I had to check a few times that I wasn’t reading a true story because it felt too real. Strong TW for sexual assault.

I hadn’t read Luckiest Girl Alive, a mega-bestselling novel of Knoll’s that recently got made into a Netflix series, but I just picked it up this weekend and am pleasantly surprised. While I enjoy thrillers when I’m in the mood for something fast-paced and easy, I don’t expect them to be literary treats. Maybe Jessica Knoll is creating a new genre?

Nyad - A movie to pump your blood and fill your heart

Thank you, JBro, for recommending this movie! I loved it. It’s the true story of Diana Nyad, an open-water swimmer who sets out to swim the 100 miles between Cuba and Florida at sixty years old. Starring Annette Bening as Diana Nyad and Jodie Foster as Bonnie Stoll, her coach and partner—both stellar—it’s got all the makings of a feel-good story of triumph. Nyad is a complicated character, but you can’t help but want this insane, impossible thing for her, even as she’s terrible to everyone trying to support her.

As I watched it, I thought it felt like watching Free Solo¹, directed by Jimmy Chin, and when I checked the next morning, lo! He’s the director! (If you haven’t yet watched Free Solo, whoa, get on it.

You can watch Nyad on Netflix.

Theeeeee best pajamas: Eberjey

I am a huge sucker for pajamas. The matching set kind. In the dog days of summer, I’m good with a tank top and undies or just undies, but at all other times of the year, I want actual pajamas. As such, I’ve tried many brands and styles over the years and have finally settled on my favorite: Eberjey Gisele Short Sleeve & Pant Set.²

They’re sooo soft, wash well, are the right weight to keep me warm but still cool, and have a classic design (they have prints, but I go with solid colors). I have a set with shorts for warmer months, but I do the short sleeves all year round because I hate the feeling of sleeves, *shudder*.

They’re on the pricier side, but the ones I have have lasted for years and hundreds of washing cycles (and drying, if I’m not paying attention). I often give them as gifts, and they’re a unanimous hit. I don’t have a discount code for you, sorry! They do run frequent sales, though.

The real problem with hustling

I’m kinda late to the party, but I recently picked up Martha Beck’s The Way of Integrity after hearing her talk about “Spider Love” on WCDHT³ and am thoroughly surprised by how good this book is. I don’t know why, but I’ve always kind of discounted Martha’s work, but no more. This quote on hustling snapped a knowing into place for me. I even read it in my TLC meeting earlier this week as a framework to understand the weight of the societal pull of alcohol culture, but also to understand why we drink to begin with because abandoning oneself— or being out of integrity as Martha calls it—is painful and requires relief.

Anything you do solely to influence others, rather than to express your true nature, is a hustle. Being polite to get approval is a hustle. Flirting with people to make them feel special is a hustle. Sitting solemnly in church, consciously exuding piety, is a hustle. Acting a little bit stupid to avoid threatening others is a hustle. Using big words to impress is a hustle. Wearing certain clothes because you want to look professional, or sexy, or hip, or rich, or tall, or nonconformist, or demure—hustle, hustle, hustle.

Mind you, hustling doesn’t mean you’re bad. It means you’re well socialized, cooperating beautifully with culture. But it also means you’re split from your true nature. In millions of small ways and some huge ones, you ignore what you naturally yearn for and hustle along to get the things you’ve been taught to want.

How one writer got to 500K subscribers on Substack

This is an ultra-helpful reflection on going from zero to 500,000 subscribers from

Lenny Rachitsky

, with specific insights on best serving your audience and growing readership (they’re related). I love how he honestly balances the opportunity available here with the reality of how much consistency and work it takes to stand out. I see so many writers telling everyone to “Get on Substack, it’s amazing!” in a sort of “If you build it, they will come!” way, and that’s just not how it is.⁴

Yes, he started at zero and is now in the top five newsletters on Substack (which, at $15/month or $150 a year, the math is whoa), but he wrote every week for four years straight and says his average time spent writing each piece is ten hours, which tracks for me.

Not everyone wants or needs to get that kind of readership, but I think we all aim to hone our craft and serve our readers. Why else do it?

You may feel like there are a billion newsletters out there—how can you possibly break through? I felt the same way when I started. It turns out that 99% of the content in the world is not very good. There’s always room for, and interest in, better content. You just need to rise above what’s already out there. And that takes work.

500,000

My biggest takeaway: edit, edit, edit. My pieces are far too wordy.

That’s it for this month! Let me know what you’re digging in the comments.

Love,
Laura

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ICYMI, last week, I announced that I’ll take paid subscribers behind the scenes for the next year as I write my third book. My first piece was about how I plan book writing and track progress to meet a deadline. Next week, I’ll break down my typical writing day routine from start to finish. If you want in on this series, become a paid subscriber:

You are reading Love Story, a weekly newsletter about relationships, recovery, and writing from Laura McKowen. I’m also on Instagram, and have written two books. I love engaging with you in the comments, which are open to paid subscribers, and you can subscribe here or give a gift subscription here.

1. Free Solo movie

2. Tommy John’s PJs are a close runner-up.

3. Ep. 253 of We Can Do Hard Things: Is it Real Love of Spider Love? With Martha Beck

4. Unless you’re already famous, which we aren’t.