Thank you for bringing this conversation to your membership! Also, I believe there is a correlation to Perimenopause/menopause and alcohol from personal experience. I had 3.5 years sober and mostly happy, but have had relapses and it is always the same time each month. I feel like a crazy person and so different from who I was before. WHY did we not talk about this before?
YES. This is so real. I mean, we know why we didn't talk about it before :). Women's health has been a private, quiet, largely ignored thing. But here we are. and it's time.
Also interesting comments in the Hot Sobriety podcast that our alcohol and drug use when we were younger may have set our hormones up to make this phase of womanhood WAY worse.
And finally, I didn’t read through all your resource list, so maybe there is something in there about this - but the new trend (hopefully) for employers to offer accommodations and benefits. I just reached out to my HR person because I was traveling for an extended period in a tropical climate while representing the company, and had to get my clothes washed at the hotel because of hot flashe being exacerbated. Normally they would not reimburse for this, and so I’m starting the conversation with my company.
Great post! I’m 60 next year, but began “journeying” into peri menopause in my early 40’s and did not know what the F was going on. I relate to your symptoms.
I also suffered intense mood swings with PMS and that was many years before. Id literally feel compelled to “break up” with my life and certain people almost every month 3 days or so before my period every month. It would dissolve once my period arrives...mostly. But there was something to it..
This stage reminds me of what you said the other day in S90: “Everything needs to change.” It’s a time to lean in to your body and spirit more than ever, which is what you are doing! As an athlete, I changed my relationship to movement. It’s much more intuitive now, but works in all the ways that I need it to at any given time.
I love Christiane Northrop’s book “The Wisdom of Menopause” I untangled my “situation” with her help.
It’s comprehensive and compassionate. I also think Sara Gottfried is brilliant and modern and sound in her approach.
Yes, I agree. The things that used to bring huge benefit can actually break us down. It's hard to ingrain a new pathway around this, but you are ahead of the game. I went through a huge transition (needed a divorce), and I simply started walking to clear my head. I was too tired and defeated then to "exercise" and "workout". The walking evolved to hiking etc.. I began to notice I was energized, CLEAR, strong and lean. Then I found the best yoga for me (Iyengar). Supplements are helpful and a good ND pr functional medicine doc is imperative too!
You can get comprehensive testing through Genova diagnostics and this testing: https://dutchtest.com/dutch-testing/. Look forward to hearing how you navigate this! Take radical care!
Yes all of this 🙌🏻 I’m a function med practitioner who specializes in helping perimenopausal women (most often with symptoms of fatigue, brain fog, stubborn weight, hypothyroid, heavy cycles, headaches) reset their metabolism, find their calm, and feel great again. I have a 12-week course for my California patients that is a fabulous reset. We then follow up with a DUTCH Complete hormone panel so we can fine tune the rest. It IS common. It is NOT normal. You don’t have to feel this way. Way to advocate for your health and the health of others in your shoes. It is most certainly a conversation we need to be having. SOOO much can be fixed by simply eating real food, and completely avoiding seed oils, nuts and grains (NOT Keto or low carb). Sounds crazy simple, but it works almost every time.
Oooo nuts! I eat a lot of nuts! Seed oils are like—grape seed oil? Sesame oil? Thank you for this comment? Wanna pop your course into a comment for the California folks who may be interested?
Yes like those. All poly unsaturated fats (PUFAs) should be avoided. Found in cottonseed oil, safflower oil, canola oil, the list is long. Read labels. Often even olive oil or avocado oils are cut with seed oils so buy from a reputable company. And most restaurants cook with them so you have to learn little tricks about how to order. Cook with good fats like ghee, grass fed butter, coconut oil, raw dairy, grass fed and finished beef tallow, pastured organic eggs, etc. I’m currently only offering the course within my practice to patients, but we’re working on making the course available to non-patients by October and I’d love to share the link then. Good luck to you! I know you’ll find yourself again and grow in the journey. Love and light to you all.
There is an excellent episode on Huberman Lab with Sara Gottfried. It got me thinking about hormones which were like a foreign language to me. How sad! But it led me on a path to an ND and things have changed so much. Still have the mood issues but feel a lot less erratic
So glad that you are investigating this. Menopause has been kicking my ass for a few years now, and for most of this same time, I've also been very conflicted about my alcohol use and how it makes me feel--mentally and physically. Reading this post was another lightbulb going off (and probably another "pro" in the quit column). Please keep us posted!
Hi Laura! First of all, I want to THANK YOU for helping me so much during the beginning of my sobriety, and now I'm almost 9 months sober:) We Are the Luckiest was the 1st quit lit book I read, and I could relate to many parts of your story. Push Off From Here was equally awesome! I was fortunate to be a part of a book club with The Sober Mom Life group. Loved it! Now, back to the topic... The correlation between menopause and alcohol use disorder is very interesting and eye-opening! When I think back, I had my last period in August 2019, then I had a stroke on January 5, 2020. I was 48 years old. The doctors were stunned and had no answers as to why my carotid arteries decided to collapse. I was at a healthy weight, normal blood pressure, normal cholesterol levels, etc. The only thing I told the doctors (as did my husband & son when I was in surgery) was that I was a heavy drinker for years. The doctors assured me that drinking wouldn't cause a stroke, but I've been wrestling with "what if?" ever since. With all of that said, my drinking got even worse during menopause and after my stroke. I am looking forward to listening to the Hot Sobriety podcast. Thank you, again, for your continued work that has helped me & so many women. P.S. I am becoming a Taylor Swift fan:)
OMG, thank you for addressing this. I have long suspected a correlation between the time I began menopause and the scary increase in my alcohol use. I am 50 and I have had peri-menopause symptoms going on about 4-5 years which is about the same time that I had to increase my Sertraline for moodswings (I believe the mood disorder is related to hormones) and at the same time my drinking escalated. I also noticed that when I have quit I relapse at the time I am about to start my period. It is unfortunate that I am not able to take any hormonal therapies because I have had Estrogen/Progesterone positive Breast Cancer. I am so intersted in learning more. So glad you have started this conversation. Just found this link:
I love that you are talking about this. Thank you. We are the same age, and seemingly in the same point in our perimenopause, so it's like an echo for me when you write about this and I feel seen. I have been getting contradicting feedback about what the IUD will help with. Have you learned that it will help with the i'mgonnakillthenextpersonthatchewsinthisroom and exhaustion, or just the crazy bleeding piece?
When my period became unmanageable I had uterine ablation. The best thing I ever did! You have to be sure you are done having children first and that’s the only real hurdle. Otherwise you have anesthesia, your uterine lining is ablated and you either never bleed again or have a few dots each month. It was unbelievable. I just don’t know why this isn’t top of the list offering for women who need to control period symptoms?!?! Of course being who I am I am convinced it is a conspiracy by the mostly male dominated medical field. LOL!!!
Yes all of this 🙌🏻 I’m a function med practitioner who specializes in helping perimenopausal women (most often with symptoms of fatigue, brain fog, stubborn weight, hypothyroid, heavy cycles, headaches) reset their metabolism, find their calm, and feel great again. I have a 12-week course for my California patients that is a fabulous reset. We then follow up with a DUTCH Complete hormone panel so we can fine tune the rest. It IS common. It is NOT normal. You don’t have to feel this way. Way to advocate for your health and the health of others in your shoes. It is most certainly a conversation we need to be having. SOOO much can be fixed by simply eating real food, and completely avoiding seed oils, nuts and grains (NOT Keto or low carb). Sounds crazy simple, but it works almost every time.
Thank you for yours opening and all the list recommendations. This year I had experience with IUD too. It was the worst thing in my life, if I'm talking about birth control and period regulation. It was so horrible symptoms: all the time as was blooding and feel pain. After 2 month and half, I told my to doctor - enough. No I'm taking birth control tablets. I'm not so happy with this way, but it is 100 times better than IUD.
Once again... 💫 I literally had a doc appt on Tuesday to discuss every one of these exact symptoms. I’ll be 46 in a few months. The timing is right, but I hadn’t correlated everything until recently (years of severe alcohol addiction and anxiety had me living so outside of my own body.) I can’t take estrogen bc I have a blood clot disorder, so I’ll have my first-ever IUD in early August. My body is different, sluggish, my moods like an unpredictable live wire, tired but can’t sleep, etc. This is yet another new frontier for me, so I can’t wait to carefully go through other people’s wisdom/experiences and the list of resources. Thank you for this! I would be drinking hard through this and at this, no question. So grateful for the chance to do the hard things in a better way now. 🙏🏻
HI Laura, thank you for talking about this! A tangential question ... you write that you got your IUD under general anesthesia. I have an IUD that is due to be replaced but I am DREADING IT because having it inserted was no question the most painful ordeal of my life, and yet another thing to file under "women's pain doesn't matter" according to the healthcare industry. But at the same time I am 47 years old and I think having one has made my perimenopause life much better. I plan to discuss this with my current ob-gyn but would almost bet money this will be a non-starter with her (and it may be time to explore different a different provider). How did you discuss this with your doctor, and was this just "standard procedure" for them or did you have a choice?
My OB offered and recommended it. It is honestly your choice! I would never do it without anesthesia—I’ve read so many reports of the same, that it’s excruciating. If she won’t do it that way, get another doc!
This is so interesting! I’m so glad you’re talking about this. Thank you!
I noticed a spike in my drinking during fertility treatments, when hormones are also out of wack (and can sometimes push women into perimenopause). I attributed my (even) heavier drinking to the stress and isolation of infertility, but wonder, after reading this, if the hormonal imbalance was a piece of the puzzle.
If you see a link between perimenopause, menopause, and alcohol use disorder, it’s not a far leap that it can be linked to infertility. And frankly, in all my years of fertility treatments, no one suggested my alcohol consumption had anything to do with it (even though it seems obvious, but that’s another conversation). I want to keep talking about this.
Thank you for discussing menopause! I drank through mine and was it ugly. I did not understand that once again my body will undergo an extensive change, just like adolescence. It's shocking. I experienced a constant cycle of disbelief, self-compassion, acceptance, mourning, and anger. Eventually, I gave up fighting because there was nothing to fix. It's biology. My body will not be the same, ever. Also, I'm relieved I'm on the other side of it. Now, there's kind of a low level anger about the lack of research about our miraculous bodies. I bet Taylor Swift will write many, many songs about menopause. Here's another book to add to your list: Flash Count Diary: Menopause and the Vindication of Natural Life by Darcey Steinke.
I will definitely be listening to Hot Sobriety. Yes, after running my entire life it is hard, painfully hard and maybe happens once a week because I love it. Resonating. My IUD was a lifesaver and yes it took 3-6m for it to settle don't give up. I had no idea what I was going through 6 years ago was peri, that's when I got my IUD, but is was and it helped. I was thinking of you Friday, after a long day of clinical care I was so exhausted I could cry. My instincts telling me this is menopause, this is my age, it's okay, but the expectations don't change when I cross the threshold into my home. Thank you for honoring the journey of women of here.
Thank you for bringing this conversation to your membership! Also, I believe there is a correlation to Perimenopause/menopause and alcohol from personal experience. I had 3.5 years sober and mostly happy, but have had relapses and it is always the same time each month. I feel like a crazy person and so different from who I was before. WHY did we not talk about this before?
YES. This is so real. I mean, we know why we didn't talk about it before :). Women's health has been a private, quiet, largely ignored thing. But here we are. and it's time.
Also interesting comments in the Hot Sobriety podcast that our alcohol and drug use when we were younger may have set our hormones up to make this phase of womanhood WAY worse.
I know 😭
And finally, I didn’t read through all your resource list, so maybe there is something in there about this - but the new trend (hopefully) for employers to offer accommodations and benefits. I just reached out to my HR person because I was traveling for an extended period in a tropical climate while representing the company, and had to get my clothes washed at the hotel because of hot flashe being exacerbated. Normally they would not reimburse for this, and so I’m starting the conversation with my company.
🤯
oh shit
Hi Laura,
Great post! I’m 60 next year, but began “journeying” into peri menopause in my early 40’s and did not know what the F was going on. I relate to your symptoms.
I also suffered intense mood swings with PMS and that was many years before. Id literally feel compelled to “break up” with my life and certain people almost every month 3 days or so before my period every month. It would dissolve once my period arrives...mostly. But there was something to it..
This stage reminds me of what you said the other day in S90: “Everything needs to change.” It’s a time to lean in to your body and spirit more than ever, which is what you are doing! As an athlete, I changed my relationship to movement. It’s much more intuitive now, but works in all the ways that I need it to at any given time.
I love Christiane Northrop’s book “The Wisdom of Menopause” I untangled my “situation” with her help.
It’s comprehensive and compassionate. I also think Sara Gottfried is brilliant and modern and sound in her approach.
You’ve got this!
Thank you, Lisa! It's definitely hit hard as an athlete.
Yes, I agree. The things that used to bring huge benefit can actually break us down. It's hard to ingrain a new pathway around this, but you are ahead of the game. I went through a huge transition (needed a divorce), and I simply started walking to clear my head. I was too tired and defeated then to "exercise" and "workout". The walking evolved to hiking etc.. I began to notice I was energized, CLEAR, strong and lean. Then I found the best yoga for me (Iyengar). Supplements are helpful and a good ND pr functional medicine doc is imperative too!
You can get comprehensive testing through Genova diagnostics and this testing: https://dutchtest.com/dutch-testing/. Look forward to hearing how you navigate this! Take radical care!
Yes all of this 🙌🏻 I’m a function med practitioner who specializes in helping perimenopausal women (most often with symptoms of fatigue, brain fog, stubborn weight, hypothyroid, heavy cycles, headaches) reset their metabolism, find their calm, and feel great again. I have a 12-week course for my California patients that is a fabulous reset. We then follow up with a DUTCH Complete hormone panel so we can fine tune the rest. It IS common. It is NOT normal. You don’t have to feel this way. Way to advocate for your health and the health of others in your shoes. It is most certainly a conversation we need to be having. SOOO much can be fixed by simply eating real food, and completely avoiding seed oils, nuts and grains (NOT Keto or low carb). Sounds crazy simple, but it works almost every time.
Oooo nuts! I eat a lot of nuts! Seed oils are like—grape seed oil? Sesame oil? Thank you for this comment? Wanna pop your course into a comment for the California folks who may be interested?
Yes like those. All poly unsaturated fats (PUFAs) should be avoided. Found in cottonseed oil, safflower oil, canola oil, the list is long. Read labels. Often even olive oil or avocado oils are cut with seed oils so buy from a reputable company. And most restaurants cook with them so you have to learn little tricks about how to order. Cook with good fats like ghee, grass fed butter, coconut oil, raw dairy, grass fed and finished beef tallow, pastured organic eggs, etc. I’m currently only offering the course within my practice to patients, but we’re working on making the course available to non-patients by October and I’d love to share the link then. Good luck to you! I know you’ll find yourself again and grow in the journey. Love and light to you all.
The Wisdom of Menopause will be in my audible today! thanks
There is an excellent episode on Huberman Lab with Sara Gottfried. It got me thinking about hormones which were like a foreign language to me. How sad! But it led me on a path to an ND and things have changed so much. Still have the mood issues but feel a lot less erratic
Oh thank you! I’ll listen!
Is this the episode where he is a bit tongue tied? If I remember correctly I could feel his discomfort. It was the sweetest thing to witness.
Yep! Men often do when faced with an intelligent and assertive woman
So glad that you are investigating this. Menopause has been kicking my ass for a few years now, and for most of this same time, I've also been very conflicted about my alcohol use and how it makes me feel--mentally and physically. Reading this post was another lightbulb going off (and probably another "pro" in the quit column). Please keep us posted!
It makes so much sense. And, I will!
Hi Laura! First of all, I want to THANK YOU for helping me so much during the beginning of my sobriety, and now I'm almost 9 months sober:) We Are the Luckiest was the 1st quit lit book I read, and I could relate to many parts of your story. Push Off From Here was equally awesome! I was fortunate to be a part of a book club with The Sober Mom Life group. Loved it! Now, back to the topic... The correlation between menopause and alcohol use disorder is very interesting and eye-opening! When I think back, I had my last period in August 2019, then I had a stroke on January 5, 2020. I was 48 years old. The doctors were stunned and had no answers as to why my carotid arteries decided to collapse. I was at a healthy weight, normal blood pressure, normal cholesterol levels, etc. The only thing I told the doctors (as did my husband & son when I was in surgery) was that I was a heavy drinker for years. The doctors assured me that drinking wouldn't cause a stroke, but I've been wrestling with "what if?" ever since. With all of that said, my drinking got even worse during menopause and after my stroke. I am looking forward to listening to the Hot Sobriety podcast. Thank you, again, for your continued work that has helped me & so many women. P.S. I am becoming a Taylor Swift fan:)
OMG, thank you for addressing this. I have long suspected a correlation between the time I began menopause and the scary increase in my alcohol use. I am 50 and I have had peri-menopause symptoms going on about 4-5 years which is about the same time that I had to increase my Sertraline for moodswings (I believe the mood disorder is related to hormones) and at the same time my drinking escalated. I also noticed that when I have quit I relapse at the time I am about to start my period. It is unfortunate that I am not able to take any hormonal therapies because I have had Estrogen/Progesterone positive Breast Cancer. I am so intersted in learning more. So glad you have started this conversation. Just found this link:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7362573/
I love that you are talking about this. Thank you. We are the same age, and seemingly in the same point in our perimenopause, so it's like an echo for me when you write about this and I feel seen. I have been getting contradicting feedback about what the IUD will help with. Have you learned that it will help with the i'mgonnakillthenextpersonthatchewsinthisroom and exhaustion, or just the crazy bleeding piece?
Hi Laura and all,
When my period became unmanageable I had uterine ablation. The best thing I ever did! You have to be sure you are done having children first and that’s the only real hurdle. Otherwise you have anesthesia, your uterine lining is ablated and you either never bleed again or have a few dots each month. It was unbelievable. I just don’t know why this isn’t top of the list offering for women who need to control period symptoms?!?! Of course being who I am I am convinced it is a conspiracy by the mostly male dominated medical field. LOL!!!
Yes all of this 🙌🏻 I’m a function med practitioner who specializes in helping perimenopausal women (most often with symptoms of fatigue, brain fog, stubborn weight, hypothyroid, heavy cycles, headaches) reset their metabolism, find their calm, and feel great again. I have a 12-week course for my California patients that is a fabulous reset. We then follow up with a DUTCH Complete hormone panel so we can fine tune the rest. It IS common. It is NOT normal. You don’t have to feel this way. Way to advocate for your health and the health of others in your shoes. It is most certainly a conversation we need to be having. SOOO much can be fixed by simply eating real food, and completely avoiding seed oils, nuts and grains (NOT Keto or low carb). Sounds crazy simple, but it works almost every time.
Thank you for yours opening and all the list recommendations. This year I had experience with IUD too. It was the worst thing in my life, if I'm talking about birth control and period regulation. It was so horrible symptoms: all the time as was blooding and feel pain. After 2 month and half, I told my to doctor - enough. No I'm taking birth control tablets. I'm not so happy with this way, but it is 100 times better than IUD.
This podcast was really helpful for me to understand what happens in peri/menopause. I’m sure you’ve been sent it already (?) but here!
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-mel-robbins-podcast/id1646101002?i=1000622473367
Once again... 💫 I literally had a doc appt on Tuesday to discuss every one of these exact symptoms. I’ll be 46 in a few months. The timing is right, but I hadn’t correlated everything until recently (years of severe alcohol addiction and anxiety had me living so outside of my own body.) I can’t take estrogen bc I have a blood clot disorder, so I’ll have my first-ever IUD in early August. My body is different, sluggish, my moods like an unpredictable live wire, tired but can’t sleep, etc. This is yet another new frontier for me, so I can’t wait to carefully go through other people’s wisdom/experiences and the list of resources. Thank you for this! I would be drinking hard through this and at this, no question. So grateful for the chance to do the hard things in a better way now. 🙏🏻
HI Laura, thank you for talking about this! A tangential question ... you write that you got your IUD under general anesthesia. I have an IUD that is due to be replaced but I am DREADING IT because having it inserted was no question the most painful ordeal of my life, and yet another thing to file under "women's pain doesn't matter" according to the healthcare industry. But at the same time I am 47 years old and I think having one has made my perimenopause life much better. I plan to discuss this with my current ob-gyn but would almost bet money this will be a non-starter with her (and it may be time to explore different a different provider). How did you discuss this with your doctor, and was this just "standard procedure" for them or did you have a choice?
My OB offered and recommended it. It is honestly your choice! I would never do it without anesthesia—I’ve read so many reports of the same, that it’s excruciating. If she won’t do it that way, get another doc!
This is so interesting! I’m so glad you’re talking about this. Thank you!
I noticed a spike in my drinking during fertility treatments, when hormones are also out of wack (and can sometimes push women into perimenopause). I attributed my (even) heavier drinking to the stress and isolation of infertility, but wonder, after reading this, if the hormonal imbalance was a piece of the puzzle.
If you see a link between perimenopause, menopause, and alcohol use disorder, it’s not a far leap that it can be linked to infertility. And frankly, in all my years of fertility treatments, no one suggested my alcohol consumption had anything to do with it (even though it seems obvious, but that’s another conversation). I want to keep talking about this.
Thank you for discussing menopause! I drank through mine and was it ugly. I did not understand that once again my body will undergo an extensive change, just like adolescence. It's shocking. I experienced a constant cycle of disbelief, self-compassion, acceptance, mourning, and anger. Eventually, I gave up fighting because there was nothing to fix. It's biology. My body will not be the same, ever. Also, I'm relieved I'm on the other side of it. Now, there's kind of a low level anger about the lack of research about our miraculous bodies. I bet Taylor Swift will write many, many songs about menopause. Here's another book to add to your list: Flash Count Diary: Menopause and the Vindication of Natural Life by Darcey Steinke.
I will definitely be listening to Hot Sobriety. Yes, after running my entire life it is hard, painfully hard and maybe happens once a week because I love it. Resonating. My IUD was a lifesaver and yes it took 3-6m for it to settle don't give up. I had no idea what I was going through 6 years ago was peri, that's when I got my IUD, but is was and it helped. I was thinking of you Friday, after a long day of clinical care I was so exhausted I could cry. My instincts telling me this is menopause, this is my age, it's okay, but the expectations don't change when I cross the threshold into my home. Thank you for honoring the journey of women of here.