This post deeply resonated with me (and I also love Somebody Somewhere - f*** Max for not renewing it and maybe it’s perfect at 3 seasons and I wanted more).
My husband and partner of 30 years has stage 4 cancer and likely has limited time left alive. For so many years I wanted to get everything from our marriage. Fortunately I realized some time ago that was a fool’s errand and that my husband was part of my family and my dear friends complete my family. To lose him will be devastating. And . .
I will still have my friends when Dave is not here. And I have also had friends die and it was as gutting as losing my parents. Maybe more so because they saw and loved all of me in a way my parents never could, even as they loved me the best they could.
What I have realized in this journey that my friends are what I have yearned for my whole life. Along with my own radical self love. They are helping me get through this time. And the more time I can spend with them - in person, on zoom, on the phone, on text and email, the more I remember I am still here and still me even as I care for my husband and face the reality of his illness and the sad thought of life without him.
Thank you for so beautifully articulating what is so true in my heart.
I love this in a bittersweet way. I've been struggling to maintain old friendships with women in my life, because life gets lifey and people drift. It seems like I'm almost always the one making the effort to organize a dinner, or send a funny text on our thread. There was a time, several years ago, that this five-women group was solid as a rock and now it feels like dust in the wind.
I’ve learned that there’s an ebb and flow to friendships. And some drift for good and that’s ok, too. Part of the reason this phase is happening now is because our kids are teenagers. It’s a different era; we have more space and time. Allow space for new friends, too. And trust. There is a long runway. ❤️
Somebody Somewhere is LIFE!!!! Sorry! Going back to read your article but I just got so insanely excited that you’ve watched I had to immediately leave a comment!! 🤣🤣
That show Changed. My. Life.
I still think about all the characters daily.
I wonder what Joel is doing now??
When Joel had the car crash listening to “We Can Do Hard Things” I almost died! I was legit hoping it was your episode 😂🤣
Aesthetically they NAILED it too! It’s not only the way all of those characters would look and dress - it’s also the EXACT way all of their homes would look.
And that bar!! Such an ugly ass place that was absolute perfection!
I just started Somebody Somewhere and I want to know where it’s been all my life?!?! I’ve only seen the first episode and I may watch 3 more times before episode 2. My friends are my life for sure. My work friends I even call my work sisters! I am married with kids but my girlfriends keep me afloat—they do the heavy lifting ! My family is just gravy….
Love that show!!! I’ve been married for about forty years, and in the beginning I envied my friends who met someone and fell off the face of the earth, it made me question my love, how did I still care deeply and have time for my friends when others didn’t? I sometimes suspected my love was not as complete as others, picturing hearts floating around their dinner table and living room, as they planned a wild lovemaking session while I washed the dishes and my husband bathed our kids. Needless to say over my first twenty years of marriage my friends who had practiced an exclusive relationship with their lovers began to resurface and divorce, often blaming their spouse for keeping them isolated. Never give up good friends!
Learning that love is not, in fact, salvation (as Laura phrases it) was a profound A Ha turning point for me several years ago after my marriage ended in the most catastrophic of ways. I really appreciated this post because of its connection to so many thing I've also experienced. The irony, in my personal experience, is that now that love is no longer this vaulted ideal I'm actually able to experience *more* connection than before because I'm not coming at life from a place of scarcity.
What a beautiful piece of writing, Laura. I'm glad I saved it to read today. I love that show so much. I think you're right about friends being the love of our lives. I had one person and I loved her like no other right up until she died. I still love her. I think this way of looking at love feels expansive, accessible + true. I appreciate you, friend. xo
And I'm crying again;). Love this, Laura! I am coming to see that I am the love of my life, and my close friends are a very close second, and SO essential!!
Such truth here, Laura. Friends are forever if we are lucky enough to realize how important they are, as you have. Loved Somebody Somewhere too. I actually might rewatch it in short succession like you did.
I guess I didn’t think of it because, like, no one dies or moves to Europe or something. But still — it’s not something you want to be told before you see it!
I love Somebody Somewhere so much I’ve been begging people to watch it and it is so great to see it catch fire. I love the pace, the depth, the painful humor, and just…everything. And I love this feeling about friends. They are so precious.
This post deeply resonated with me (and I also love Somebody Somewhere - f*** Max for not renewing it and maybe it’s perfect at 3 seasons and I wanted more).
My husband and partner of 30 years has stage 4 cancer and likely has limited time left alive. For so many years I wanted to get everything from our marriage. Fortunately I realized some time ago that was a fool’s errand and that my husband was part of my family and my dear friends complete my family. To lose him will be devastating. And . .
I will still have my friends when Dave is not here. And I have also had friends die and it was as gutting as losing my parents. Maybe more so because they saw and loved all of me in a way my parents never could, even as they loved me the best they could.
What I have realized in this journey that my friends are what I have yearned for my whole life. Along with my own radical self love. They are helping me get through this time. And the more time I can spend with them - in person, on zoom, on the phone, on text and email, the more I remember I am still here and still me even as I care for my husband and face the reality of his illness and the sad thought of life without him.
Thank you for so beautifully articulating what is so true in my heart.
Thank you for sharing that with us. ❤️
I love this in a bittersweet way. I've been struggling to maintain old friendships with women in my life, because life gets lifey and people drift. It seems like I'm almost always the one making the effort to organize a dinner, or send a funny text on our thread. There was a time, several years ago, that this five-women group was solid as a rock and now it feels like dust in the wind.
I’ve learned that there’s an ebb and flow to friendships. And some drift for good and that’s ok, too. Part of the reason this phase is happening now is because our kids are teenagers. It’s a different era; we have more space and time. Allow space for new friends, too. And trust. There is a long runway. ❤️
Somebody Somewhere is LIFE!!!! Sorry! Going back to read your article but I just got so insanely excited that you’ve watched I had to immediately leave a comment!! 🤣🤣
That show Changed. My. Life.
I still think about all the characters daily.
I wonder what Joel is doing now??
When Joel had the car crash listening to “We Can Do Hard Things” I almost died! I was legit hoping it was your episode 😂🤣
Ha. I have the same excitement about the show. Pure magic.
Aesthetically they NAILED it too! It’s not only the way all of those characters would look and dress - it’s also the EXACT way all of their homes would look.
And that bar!! Such an ugly ass place that was absolute perfection!
Exactly. Nothing about that show was glamourous.
I just started Somebody Somewhere and I want to know where it’s been all my life?!?! I’ve only seen the first episode and I may watch 3 more times before episode 2. My friends are my life for sure. My work friends I even call my work sisters! I am married with kids but my girlfriends keep me afloat—they do the heavy lifting ! My family is just gravy….
Love that show!!! I’ve been married for about forty years, and in the beginning I envied my friends who met someone and fell off the face of the earth, it made me question my love, how did I still care deeply and have time for my friends when others didn’t? I sometimes suspected my love was not as complete as others, picturing hearts floating around their dinner table and living room, as they planned a wild lovemaking session while I washed the dishes and my husband bathed our kids. Needless to say over my first twenty years of marriage my friends who had practiced an exclusive relationship with their lovers began to resurface and divorce, often blaming their spouse for keeping them isolated. Never give up good friends!
Never!
I LOVE THAT SHOW!! Criminally underwatched and underappreciated. Such a gem.
you are my person and i am yours. and the fact of the leak from the roof deck where it all happened...
Forevs.
Love this and I will need to watch the show…Thanks for sharing❤️
Ah, I can't wait to check out this show! Need a new one since I zipped through Shrinking.
There is nothing like female friendships. Those are the vows that sustain. And Boston loves you back, Laura xoxo
Learning that love is not, in fact, salvation (as Laura phrases it) was a profound A Ha turning point for me several years ago after my marriage ended in the most catastrophic of ways. I really appreciated this post because of its connection to so many thing I've also experienced. The irony, in my personal experience, is that now that love is no longer this vaulted ideal I'm actually able to experience *more* connection than before because I'm not coming at life from a place of scarcity.
Yes, that! So true!
What a beautiful piece of writing, Laura. I'm glad I saved it to read today. I love that show so much. I think you're right about friends being the love of our lives. I had one person and I loved her like no other right up until she died. I still love her. I think this way of looking at love feels expansive, accessible + true. I appreciate you, friend. xo
Thank you, T. I appreciate you too. ❤️
And I'm crying again;). Love this, Laura! I am coming to see that I am the love of my life, and my close friends are a very close second, and SO essential!!
Such truth here, Laura. Friends are forever if we are lucky enough to realize how important they are, as you have. Loved Somebody Somewhere too. I actually might rewatch it in short succession like you did.
Beautiful post, thank you for the example of asking for support and yes to would friends.
Also I love this show. This post needed a spoiler alert tho. I wasn’t dome with season 3.😭😭😭😭
I guess I didn’t think of it because, like, no one dies or moves to Europe or something. But still — it’s not something you want to be told before you see it!
Oh man, I’m so sorry! I’ll add one!
I love Somebody Somewhere so much I’ve been begging people to watch it and it is so great to see it catch fire. I love the pace, the depth, the painful humor, and just…everything. And I love this feeling about friends. They are so precious.
Love this, Laura. Thanks for putting words to how I've been feeling lately...as you do. :) (And I loved Somebody, Somewhere)
100% YES.