Replay: Drafts, Deadlines, and Telling the Truth in Memoir

Hello! First, I have a few things coming up this month!

Join me and Dr. Ingrid Clayton in NYC this Friday, 9/12

Friday, Sept. 12, NYC - Join me and Dr. Ingrid Clayton, author of Fawning, this Friday at the iconic 92nd Street Y in NYC. Get tickets.

Grab Your Spot for The Bigger Yes Online Course

Sept. 18 - Oct 30, Online: If you’re facing a season of change and don’t know what comes next, feeling generally stuck, craving alignment between your values and your daily life, or have been saying yes to everyone else and no to yourself, The Bigger Yes is for you.

Love Story paid subscribers get a $100 discount on registration: $479 $379. The discounted registration link is behind the paywall below (scroll). Payment plans available.

Learn more & register at the regular price.

Threshold Women’s Retreat with Elena Brower and Kemi Nekpavil

Sept 25 - 28, Carbondale, CO: There are still a couple of spots available for this intimate women’s retreat located at the exquisite True Nature retreat center. Grab your spot.

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REPLAY: Drafts, Deadlines, and Telling the Truth in Memoir

Here’s the replay from our subscriber hangout last week. These calls and replays are available to all paid subscribers. Notes are below so you can decide if it’s worth your time/resources.

Talk Highlights

• The Writing Journey

  • Deadlines, extensions, and how life events reshape a book

  • Writing 75% of a draft in ~10 weeks under firm pressure

  • The power of writing straight through without looking back

• First Draft Philosophy

  • Goal: “make it exist, you can make it good later”

  • Treat the first draft as gathering raw material, not a finished product

  • Let it sit before revising

• Feedback & Support

  • Be selective about who sees early work

  • Early readers = cheerleaders, not critics

  • Ask for specific feedback when the time comes

  • Hire memoir-savvy editors for targeted input

• Writing About Others

  • Focus on your own inner experience

  • Avoid assuming others’ motives or quoting unnecessarily

  • Change details/roles to protect identities

  • Open conversations with loved ones when needed—without asking permission

  • Accept that some people will never like being written about

• Craft & Style

  • Balance showing and telling; both are necessary

  • Structure of Love Story: mostly linear, reflective voice, non-prescriptive

  • Use craft as “oven mitts” to create distance (e.g., speculative vignettes)

  • Write what you’d want to read; honor your voice

• Emotional Realities

  • Expect fear, courage whiplash, second-guessing

  • Publishing is iterative—essays and posts can be adjusted later

  • Legal concerns are real, but deal with them later in the process

• Finding Focus

  • Don’t chase marketability in drafting; shape and market later

  • Write widely—your themes will reveal themselves

  • Study how other memoirists narrowed their lens (e.g., Sarah Hepola in Blackout)

• Daily Practices

  • Read broadly (fiction and nonfiction, not just memoir)

  • Keep craft companions nearby (On Writing, Bird by Bird)

  • If stuck: write a scene

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Resources

• Craft & Process

  • On Writing – Stephen King

  • Bird by Bird – Anne Lamott

  • Body Work – Melissa Febos

  • Permission – Alyssa Altman

• Memoir Models

  • Blackout – Sarah Hepola

  • You Could Make This Place Beautiful – Maggie Smith

Other Live Replays

Replay: The Truth About Fawning

REPLAY: Teens and Their Phones: Help!

REPLAY: All Things Book Publishing

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